Sunday, September 7, 2008

...Meanwhile Back at the Ranch

Dear Matthew,

I realize you have only been gone hunting since Tuesday. I'm fully aware you are not returning from New Mexico for at least another week, however, we've a slight security breech that requires your attention.

I'm fully aware you told me the chickens would be fine, until you returned, and would not require netting over their run. I know you thought they were young enough and happy enough to stay put. I'm sure this had nothing to do with your excitement over going hunting for two weeks nor did this have anything to do with your lack of time/interest/motivation for anything related to chickens.

I shall refrain from mentioning that when you offered to pick up chicken feed to last me the weeks you'd be gone and I said please get Starter/Grower, you "accidentally" only got Starter feed. I just won't sink to that level and mention that error on national public blogdom. I won't do it.

Anyhow, back to the breech in security. The "young" enough chickens have decided that when I open their run door in the morning and they fly hard enough they just make it over the fence. It is at this point they get stuck and cannot get back in the run. Thankfully they really want to get back in the run and I can corner them against the fence, grab them and boost them up and over the fence. Again, this is the same fence you said would not need any additional enclosing til you returned. (in case you forgot to which fence I referred)

Keep in mind that while wrangling these "too young too fly over the fence" chickens I'm also restraining a very willing Lab/Collie mix, named Matilda, who would just love to sink her teeth into this project and help.

After the commotion of boosting at least five chickens (I stopped counting after five) I decided I was so fed up with these foul that I said to heck with the fresh water you've enough to last the day. I'll do it tonight. I then finished feeding the chickens, I did grace them with food, although it's just Starter feed NOT Starter/Grower, but I said I wouldn't mention that. I then proceeded to shut up all the other doors and checked on the sheep one more time. Know what I saw? One lone hen helping the sheep grab up the oats they were missing themselves.

I have no idea when this particular hen escaped. I have no idea if she did this yesterday or this morning during the mass confusion. She may have been out there all night sleeping with the sheep in the lean-to for all I know. I stood there with my mouth wide open knowing full well I was not chasing a hen all around the pasture, especially a hen that appeared to want to be there. That hen will now and forever live in the pasture. I will let you handle her misconduct upon your return.

In closing, we are ready for you to return. The chickens have gotten completely out of control. It's mass chaos. I do not need to remind you what I did with the troublesome rooster in 2000. I have a .410 and I'm not afraid to use it.

I love you, have fun, shoot something big, be safe.

Love, me

ps I felt this incident worthy of a blog email rather then a personal email. I know you're able to read both. Just wanted to share the love a bit.

pps I know you appreciate the fact that I never mentioned how you bought Starter feed and not Starter/Grower feed. You can thank me when you get home.


Anonymous said...

Katie, you have a way with words. I love it! I think you could write a book.
Perhaps, the hen was just trying to wrangle up a grasshopper and just by accident "jumped" the fence. She's there now to give the lambs some company. Wish we were there to see the sight of you putting all the hens back in. ps. please don't bring out that 410 or whatever that is, unless of course, they are on the attack!

Katie R. said...

No worries. I can't actually use the 410. Matthew doesn't trust me. He hid the key to the gun cabinet and won't tell me where it is. I think I scared him when I saw that opposum and wanted to shoot it from the sunroom window.

On second thought, he left all his keys here...hey, maybe I DO have the key?